Losing your virginity is one of the most important decisions you’ll make.

Research has shown that your first sexual encounter has implications for your sexual well-being throughout your life, so as much as it is exciting and romantic, it’s not a decision to be taken lightly.

If you’re reading this post, you’re most likely doing some research on what to expect from your first sexual encounter and how to make it as comfortable and passionate as possible.


You must understand that every woman will experience her first time differently, but generally, it will be a combination of passion, fun, awkwardness and a tinge of discomfort. Choose to have sex for the right reasons and not out of pressure, and share this special moment with someone you love and trust.

Once you have that in place, make sure you have some condoms and water-based lubrication to ensure that you and your partner are protected and that your body is eased into penetrative sex.

Firstly, the vagina sits at an angle, tilting forward towards the belly. It is at a 45-degree if you’re standing, and the best way to get acquainted with knowing your vaginal angle is by using a tampon. Knowing your vaginal angle will make penetrative sex less uncomfortable as you’ll be able to better guide your partner.

Foreplay is very important in getting you and partner into the mood, and it’s also a great way to experience intimacy and closeness. Get to know each other’s bodies and erogenous zones through kissing, touching and oral sex. If you and your partner take time with foreplay, it can be just as satisfying as penetrative sex, and you have an opportunity to experience an orgasm without the discomfort that’s usually associated with first time sex.

Understand that your body needs time to get aroused, whereas men get aroused a lot quicker. So, take your time and enjoy foreplay. Your body will let you know when it’s ready for penetrative sex.

Once you reach that point, add a dab of water-based lube on the opening of the vagina and also to the outside of your partner’s penis or the condom to ease penetration. And most importantly, relax because tense muscles can cause discomfort. Pain experienced from penetration is usually a result of not being sufficiently lubricated or aroused, so make sure to be liberal with the water-based lube to ease a lot of the pain by reducing friction.

If you experience a lot of pain, ask your partner to be gentler and move slower, and apply more lube to reduce more friction. The pain shouldn’t be overwhelming.

Some women bleed, while others don’t experience this, so if you do bleed, it should be minor spotting that doesn’t last long.

Don’t worry if you don’t orgasm during the first try. Your body is still getting used to the sensation, and once you’re comfortable with the act and with your partner, you’ll be all set up to experience an orgasm. Keep trying if you have the energy and aren’t too sore from the initial experience of penetrative sex.

Communicate with your partner throughout. One-word sentences do just fine if the euphoric feeling of what you’re experiencing takes over.

You’ll feel an array of emotions once you come down from your sexual high, including feeling a deeper sense of closeness and love for your partner, and a sense of euphoria for taking this step in your life.

Some women feel guilty and depressed after sex, even if it was consensual, and this will probably be a result of how you’ve understood female sexuality and sex. Women are historically not empowered to think of themselves as sexual beings, and sex is often portrayed as a dirty and bad act. But don’t at all feel bad because you’ve done nothing wrong. Just savor the moment and enjoy your partner.

Now that you have a guide on how to make your first sexual encounter pleasurable, go on and enjoy this significant milestone.

*image from Black and Married with Kids.

*Dailypost WordPress.


  1. Remember every man has their first time too, with similar albeit unique emotions about that first sexual sharing. As humans we are very human in our reactions to life’s occurrences.

    1. True and interesting comment you raise. I wrote it specifically for women as it was one of the most searched dating questions on Google, and most of the time, women’s first sexual encounters aren’t that great.

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