Believe it or not, the question “how to be single” is one of the most searched how-to questions on Google.
Clearly people want to know to get out of a relationship or how to deal with not being in one. Many times, being single is looked down upon and society tends to make it seem as if something’s wrong with you if you’re not in a relationship, but in actual fact, singleness is great, especially in times where you need some time-out to focus on yourself.
So, in an attempt to answer the question of how to be single, I propose this simple and practical guide:
Firstly, if you’re in a relationship, you need to break up with your partner. Break-ups are never easy, and they tend to be quite traumatic. According to science, humans are hardwired to fear rejection, and a break-up activates the same brain regions that process physical pain. Also, it doesn’t matter who breaks off the relationship because both parties experience the same pain.
But, if the relationship is not working out, or you’ve decided that you no longer want to be with your partner, be honest and respectful about it by letting them know and letting them go.
Some people are tempted to jump into a rebound relationship after a break-up, mostly popularly one-night-stands, to try and get rid of the pain of heartbreak. I would advise against doing that because it only makes things worse. You can’t use emptiness to fill a hole, and besides, dragging another person, who has feelings and probably their own relationship issues, into the mix of your drama only makes things complicated.
Now that you no longer have to split your time between work and tending to your partner, throw yourself wholly into being an entrepreneur or into working hard to get that promotion you’ve always wanted but never really had time for. Pursue that MBA that you’ve been putting off because of lack of time, or get a job in a different country. Now that you’re single, you have all the time in the world to take your career to higher heights.
You also have more time to pursue your hobbies. Take those dance classes or that cooking course you’ve been procrastinating on. Doing the things you like and trying something new will redirect your attention away from the heartbreak that you could still be feeling, and you’ll have less time to go prowling around for a rebound relationship in a bid to keep you occupied.
A common fear that is associated with being single is the fear of being lonely. The truth is you’re never alone when you’re single because you have family and friends that love you. Spend time with them, and also cultivate new friendships through your various hobbies. Being around people that you care about you will make you feel content and happy as you are in meaningful and healthy relationships.
So, if you’re planning on taking the plunge into the world of being single, remember to take time to focus on yourself. Use the time to decide on whether or not relationships are for you. In this way, you can choose to either be open to the possibly of finding someone to love or staying single for the rest of your life.
*image from The Wrap.