*text message* Me: hey Sipho! Can you meet me for coffee at Starbucks in Rosebank? I’ve something very important to chat to you about…

Sipho: hey 🙂 Sure thing. Will be there in 15 mins.

Whoa ok! Why am I so nervous?

I’m just going to have a frank conversation with my good friend. I’ve got nothing to be afraid of… I mean, I’ve known him since varsity and I’m sure what I’m about to ask of him won’t scare him from me.

I’m going to ask Sipho to be the father of my child.

I’m 35 years old with no prospects of getting into a relationship anytime soon, and what I want right now more than having a partner is having a baby.

Relationships haven’t exactly worked out for the best for me. The last guy I dated left me to reconcile with his ex-wife after we were together for 2 years, and the ones before him were assholes that I couldn’t settle down with. Men come and go, but a child sticks with you forever. At this point, I believe that a mother-child bond is what’s missing from my life.

I don’t need a husband or boyfriend to have a child; all I need is a good and trustworthy man who’ll be willing to commit to having a child with me.

Sipho is the perfect candidate for being my baby’s father.

He’s an awesome person. He’s loving, caring and very considerate. He’s quite ambitious and always dreams big, and he works hard to achieve anything he puts his mind to. He’s a successful businessman, having built a solid career over the past 12 years, and most importantly, he’s ready to start a family, but is also struggling to find someone who’ll commit to him.

He’s also the yummiest man you’ll ever meet; tall and well-built, with the most gorgeous smile. He graduated cum laude with a degree in Actuarial Sciences, making him the full package with beauty and brains.

I know him very well, and it’ll be easy to trust him because of his good nature. He’ll love and care for the child we have together, and we’ll continue to care for each other as we always have. I believe this type of a non-traditional family will work best as there won’t be the stress of trying to balance a relationship with being a dedicated parent.

So, after months of thinking about this, I’m going to take the leap and ask him if he’d be interested. I’m hoping he’ll say yes…


So, I asked Sipho to have a child with me. That was the most awkward conversation we’ve ever had. He was baffled, then shocked, then happy.

I thought that he would ask for some time to think about it, like a week or so, but he didn’t. He just smiled while looking at me, drank his coffee, ordered another cup, walked up to the cake section to see what was available, bought a slice (which he doesn’t usually do because he’s not a fan of desserts), sat in silence for a while, and then finally, he gave me an answer.

He said yes!

I can’t tell you how excited I am! I’m gonna have a baby y’all!


He’s equally as excited, but with a tinge of nervousness. He says being a parent is a big deal, and I totally agree with him.

All that’s left now is to get on with the baby-making, which I think will be awkward at first because having sex is a line we’ve never crossed.

I’m very excited about this next chapter of my life, and I’m glad that Sipho will be here with me all the way.

*image from Creative Commons.

*Dailypost WordPress.



  1. Currently single and in my late twenties and having a non-traditional family with a friend. I have always wondered how that would happen but I think your post has answered some of my questions.
    My oher question would be how do you handle your child once they are born and they start asking questions? How do you handle having another child (I want atleast three)? How do you handle your family especially the conservatives?

    1. I think being honest with your children is the only way, and making sure that you and the father have a healthy relationship for their sake. With handling your family, it’s your decision at the end of the day, and they’ll have to respect it. They’ll always give you a tough time either out of love or not understanding what you’re doing.

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