THE INTERNET HAS DISAPPEARED

Oh my gosh! A disaster has struck … The internet has disappeared.

Guys, THE INTERNET IS GONE!

internet connectivity africa digital google image

What on earth are we going to do?

Who’s that idiot that messed with the world’s connectivity?  I bet it’s those aliens from the galaxy next door. They must be canning themselves with laughter at our distress.

Ok, let me take a look at my phone; maybe all’s not lost.

Dammit! All my apps are gone. My phone is completely blank. All I can do is make calls and send SMS’s. What an inconvenience.

Social media has just been wiped from the face of the earth. How I am going to connect with my friends, family and the world at large if I can’t get any instant updates? This means that I will incur major costs on phone calls as I spend hours talking to those close to me via normal mobile phone calls, and sending an SMS will be just as expensive. I might as well throw my smartphone away and start using my Nokia 3310 that I had back in 2000.

And all my photo albums and videos are gone. Photos are a critical part of personal history, and now my children won’t get to see me my wedding pictures, graduation pictures, selfies or the cool videos I made.

Am I going to have to read the newspaper every morning, listen to the radio every hour and watch the 7pm news on TV for news updates? Stories will be old by then.

To make matters worse, Google is gone. Now we have to use encyclopedias for information sourcing or rely on general knowledge. What a mess! I feel vastly separated from easily accessible information.

Right now, I no longer have a job because my website has disappeared and social media management is defunct. Come to think of it, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Dorsey and other internet-based business people and companies are now defunct.

This means that I have to launch a print publication for my business and incur printing costs. I really don’t want to contribute to the destruction of trees for paper creation. Besides, having a print publication so limiting because it won’t have an instant, global reach and the video element of my business will be gone.

Will I have to hire a messenger to take the place of email communication? And am I going to have to post letters to communicate with other businesses? I don’t even know the inside of a post office anymore, and I’m pretty sure that postal stamps don’t exist, except in a souvenir box somewhere in my cupboard.

I’ve lost all my saved documents because I used cloud storage to back them up. Had I known that this was going to happen, I would have saved my stuff on a USB and a floppy disk (since we’re already in a state of regression) for double back-up.

My laptop is only good for playing solitaire now.

Traveling will now be a disaster when I don’t know where I’m going because I haven’t read a map since the 90s. The convenience of a GPS is all I know, and that’s gone.

Can you believe that I had to stand in a line at the bank today because digital banking disappeared? I stood in line for an hour simply to get a bank statement which I would’ve retrieved digitally in a minute had the internet still been around.

And I had to fill out forms at Home Affairs for my social security records, as well as forms for my bank and my medical aid because all digitized records are gone. Now I have to go to the specific branch at which I’m registered should I need anything from Home Affairs and the bank.

This is a mess.

No, it’s actually a nightmare.

I always knew that the internet played a big role in my life and in society, but I never thought that the impact of losing it would be this devastating.

*image from Creative Commons.

*Dailypost WordPress.

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