“I’m happily married to Dylan, and we have two beautiful children. He’s a good man and a very good husband and father. As a husband, he does all the right things; he’s committed, he loves me and gives me compliments every now and again. The problem is that I’m very bored with our marriage. I feel like I settled with Dylan because it was the right thing to do. We’ve been together since our teenage years, and it was only right that I marry him. I’ve being seeing a guy that I met through a colleague, and he has become the highlight of my life. I feel guilty about cheating on my husband, but it’s thrilling to date someone who is outside of everything I know. I’m afraid to leave my husband because I don’t know how I’ll survive if things don’t work out with the new guy, but I also don’t want to end the new relationship because I like it”. – Sarah, 30.
“I didn’t mean to cheat on my boyfriend of three years; it happened so suddenly. We were fighting a lot and he was frequently out of town on business, so I was alone and unhappy most of the time. One day, after having an argument over the phone, I was feeling depressed, so I went over to his best friend’s place for some company since I got on well with him. We chilled, watched a bunch of TV series, ate pizza, played some PlayStation games and talked. Then, as the night progressed, his bestie grabbed me and kissed me, and it felt so good that I couldn’t help but go with the flow. It felt great to be loved. I’m still seeing his best friend, and I know that at some point I’m going to have to make a decision to either leave my boyfriend for his best friend or stay with my boyfriend and try to work things out. I’m confused and I don’t know what to do”. – Anesu, 28.
“I thought I was ready for a new relationship with Lerato after breaking up with my girlfriend of four years, until my ex reached out to me, asking me if I’d like to get back together because she was still in love with me. I didn’t think twice about getting back together with her because I still loved her. I didn’t know how to tell my current girlfriend Lerato, so I just strung her along until she found text messages from my “current ex-girlfriend” and confronted me about it. I honestly didn’t mean to hurt her… I just didn’t want to break her heart”. – Thato, 29.
“I cheated on my girlfriend of three years when I found out that she was cheating on me with another woman. I was very angry and hurt, and I thought that cheating back would be the perfect revenge. Looking back, it was a very silly thing to do because I ended up hurting someone else in order to get back at my girlfriend for her unfaithfulness”. – Toya, 27.
I’m bored with my relationship… It just happened… I wanted to get revenge… All of the above reasons for cheating are bullshit.
Because relationships aren’t complicated; it’s the self-centered and dishonest nature of people that make relationships complicated.
If people were more honest with themselves and their spouses about how they really felt, instead of hiding behind the fear of being alone or being too cowardice to walk away from something that’s not working out, relationships would be a whole lot easier.
Here’s the truth about cheating.
People cheat because they don’t necessarily love the person that they’re with.
If you truly love someone, you will value and respect them as a loved one, and you will not do anything to intentionally harm them because you care for them deeply. You will have their best interests at heart, carefully considering what you do in the relationship because you know that your actions will have an impact on them.
You will be honest at all times, clearly expressing your thoughts and feelings so that they are in a position to make an informed choice about the relationship, which ultimately affects their lives.
So don’t cheat on your spouse and try to validate your actions with some excuse as if it will make the cheating acceptable. Face the truth that you don’t truly love the person that you’re with enough to build a life with them, and relay that truth through an honest conversation with them.
Doing this will save you and your partner from unnecessary heartache and drama, and you can walk away from the relationship knowing that you did right by your partner.
*image from Bustle.