I’m writing you this letter because I believe that I communicate better through the written word.
Sometimes my mind processes thoughts at a very fast rate, and when I verbalize them, they come out incoherently like the first draft of a mind map.
This is why half the time when we have heart-to-heart conversations about our thoughts and feelings, I end up confusing you because I present my mind map with thousands of key words, resulting in you feeling frustrated because you’re struggling to decipher the meaning of what I’m trying to say.
I was not at all telling you that I don’t enjoy the time we spend together. In fact, I love every moment I spend with you. You are the most caring, loving and awesome person I’ve ever met and you make me happy.
What I was trying to say is that I would appreciate some space, or ‘me time’, in our relationship. I do believe that, apart from it being perfectly normal, having some ‘me time’ is will do us a world of good.
The reason that I brought this up was because I was starting to feel suffocated because I didn’t have time to retreat into my cocoon to be on my own. I felt like I needed some time for solitude, not because being with you was stressful or a lot of work, but just to take a break from the world and just be.
I was frustrated with you for being offended whenever I wanted to be by myself because I felt like my sense of individuality was being tampered with unnecessarily. However, at the same time, I felt guilty for wanting to spend some time alone because it was hurting you.
I kept all of this bottled up inside, and I realize that it was unhealthy because all I needed to do was to have an honest chat with you.
I love spending time with you, and I do enjoy stepping out of ‘us’ to have moments of solitude, to spend time with other loved ones and to catch up on personal things like laundry, cleaning and praying. This is all part of reconnecting with myself and making time for other important things in my life.
You also have personal chores and things you love doing, and you also love spending time with those important to you as well as having some quiet time. I believe that our individual ‘me times’ will give us space to do all these things.
I understand that your main concern was about time spent together. I think that we already spend ample time together, especially because we genuinely enjoy each other’s company and our relationship feels natural. Every moment I spend with you, whether we’re shopping for our groceries or having a coffee date after work, is quality time spent.
I propose that we communicate our ‘me times’ with each other so that we are aware of when we would like to spend time together and when we would like to go into our individual cocoons for moments of solitude and personal endeavors.
I hope this letter makes sense, and I hope you are reassured of my love for you.
PS: I’m writing this letter from my cocoon. I love you even in moments of solitude.
*image from www.theodysseyonline.com.