When you think of millennial, you think of a 20-something year old bent over an Apple Mac high on caffeine, or one that is drunk-dancing on a table at a nightclub before landing in an apartment with a stranger.
The first part is correct because millennials are career-obsessed, but according to the latest research, the second part relating to random hook-ups isn’t quite true.
More millennials are having less sex, opting for a life of celibacy. There is also a trend among this generation towards taking less lifestyle risks, resulting in less intake of alcohol and drugs as compared to GenXers and boomers.
I’m one of many millennials that chose a life of celibacy. I was 25 when I made the decision after a bad breakup that pretty much knocked me out emotionally. When I eventually found my feet, I tried casual dating, but it didn’t end well because I don’t have the emotional capacity required to handle shallow relationships that end when the sun rises.
So far, being celibate has been great as I’m happier with not having to deal with the emotional rollercoaster of dating. However, it’s not all plain sailing because like anyone else, I’m a sexual being and do crave intimacy at times.
Having clear goals on why I made this decision helps in those moments of weakness. Right now, I want to focus on loving me and spending quality time with my loved ones and take a break from relationships. When I eventually feel ready to get back into the game, I want to take time to know my partner and build a healthy relationship that isn’t clouded by sex and all that it comes with.
Staying away from compromising situations, like being alone with someone I’m attracted to, goes a long way. I am a sexual being, meaning that even a good, intimate hug can set me off. Also, it’s good to set boundaries, especially with people of the opposite sex, because they’ll be no confusion with where you stand and your intentions.
I’ve come to understand that not everyone is going to be understanding of my decision. I still deal with comments like “you need to get laid and leave this celibacy nonsense” from some of my friends when I’m in a bad mood (as if a woman’s mood is dictated by how much sex she has), and guys who show interest in me back away as soon as I let them know of my celibacy. It’s important to stand by your decision, and be selective of the guys you choose to date.
Keeping busy and not dwelling on sexual thoughts works well. Being idle will make you mischievous, and you’ll eventually act on something you constantly think about.
Celibacy is definitely a great way to take a step back to figure out what you want and need from relationships. So don’t be afraid to take the step if you need to.
*image from Pinterest.