The Benefits of Being a Virgin

What would the world be like if all people were virgins and were programmed to have sex once they entered into a marriage relationship?

Imagine that: a world were people weren’t so controlled by their hormones, where their manhood or womanhood wasn’t defined at all by the amount of sex they have, and a world where countless hearts would be spared from heartbreak caused by cheating.


I think that sex doesn’t have to be the be-all and the end-all of relationships, but because people have become so accustomed to sex defining how good or bad a relationship is, it has become a norm in any relationship.

If you do decide to keep your legs closed and not engage in sex, people think you’re lying about your virginity or they look at you as if you’re crazy for not having sex. The worse is when you can’t get into a relationship because you know that sex will always be a pressure, and if its not you giving it to your partner, some one else will.

I think there are some very good benefits of being a virgin.

Most of my friends gave it up to their boyfriends, only to have their lovers dump them after a couple of weeks or months. My girlfriends felt so used after such break-ups because they felt like they gave their all, only to have it trampled and thrown back at their faces.

So as a virgin, you don’t really feel like absolute crap when your partner leaves you because you didn’t give away a very deep part of yourself. Although you do feel sad after the breakup, it’s generally easier to get over the failed relationship because there was never a deep-level sexual connection.

As a virgin, your ability to rock someone’s world doesn’t come from how you perform in bed, so you don’t go through the stress of being compared to other people, and you don’t compare different partners as well.

As a woman, you don’t feel like death because your man slept with another woman, and you don’t have insecurities of ‘not being woman enough’ when the relationship goes belly-up. As a guy, you don’t have nightmares of you being a weak man who can’t satisfy his woman. No one needs that kind of stress that just eats at your self-esteem.

Most relationships have the tendency of falling apart after people engage in sex. I guess the main reason would be that there’s nothing left of the relationship after a sexual encounter; all that could be done has been done. This applies to relationships outside of one-night stands.

There are the obvious benefits to choosing to remain a virgin, such as no STD’s and pregnancy scares. But more than that, refraining from sex gives you the opportunity to get to know your partner for who they are, and to work on building a relationship that isn’t merely physical. Having an emotional connection with someone, and knowing that you have a companion and a lover to live life with is something that is quite special.

Being a virgin in this day and age is quite difficult because you are literally swimming against the current of the modern times, but it’s a choice at the end of the day.

Virginity also tends to scare off a lot of people that would want to be in a relationship with you, but also in the end, it usually turns out to be a blessing because it eliminates crappy people out of your life.

*image from Salon.

*Dailypost WordPress.

58 thoughts on “The Benefits of Being a Virgin

  1. you made very valid points. My question to you is,
    1. “which angle where you using to look at the benefits? girl point of view or boys”
    2. “how come girls you want to use the black mail of being used more and as you gave your all when you give your virginity willingly?” Its just a membrane that you are not even sure that by the time to had your first sexual encounter it was still intact. Why don’t just embrace the experience of loosing instead of looking to say because i gave it to you, you are the man of my dreams but you gave it while you were awake and responding. i say to all the ladies that feel used after loosing it to the guy who leave him, “it was not meant to be and life goes on, you were going to die a virgin one you were going to give to the man that u married and might even divorce after so you still after coz you gave your all and he left you or you left him?”

    yet again i commend on the effort made in compiling the peace of work. keep it up.

    1. Thanks for the comment. To answer your questions, I was looking at it from a girl’s point of view, and ultimately, ladies are emotional beings and somehow they feel used after giving it up because the relationships that they’re in don’t last, because it seems like the guy got what he wanted and now there’s nothing more that’s left of the relationship, so he tunes out. Feeling used is one of the primary reasons that girls put up defences and decide to love with their heads and no longer with their hearts because it hurts too much to go there. And with regards to marriage, it’s better to marry a guy who’s basically your best friend so that when ‘ish hits the fan, you guys can still talk and relate, other than that, you decide things for yourself and your life, not really based on other people and their responses to you.

    2. I think my brother you realy dont see virginity as special as it is; when you say ”its just a membrane one doesn’t know it will be there when they first do sex”,
      I want to say its not about that ”little” thing, loosing that membrane through sex is different when loosing because of other physical activities, which doesn’t involve sex.

      The fact that i will be keeping my self till marriage, is satisfying enough; so whatever happens after that will never be the same as the feeling of giving my virginity to any man am in a relationship with…
      the important thing is how, when, where and with whom is was done…

      Keeping virginity is special, like no one want to sleep with someone who sleeps with anyone.. Some of women value man who values their bodies and treat sex as special as it is, not jus a once thing off, as sex involves more emotions and bond,, so we cant create strong bonds with any man and that is not blackmail… Thanxu for your comment.

  2. I love this article, honestly being a virgin is the best. Virginity is the only precious gift from birth that one can give to his/her partner. You can not buy this gift from any where, it is a God giving gift.

  3. u hv encourage me more by ur words of advise. i pray that God wl be our strenght that we wll not make a mistake. in jesus name. Amen. I lv u all

  4. It seemed like an impossible task to find sane people within this barbaric sex hungry world of so called human beings. But now I’m greatly relieved to discover that there are indeed sane people living on this earth and i’m now hopeful to see a better future in this world. May God bless you.

  5. I really appreciate people like you who create out time telling that genuine truth even when it’s no more recognised. Virginity, as I do tell myself can never be regained when lost no matter the cost and letting young people know how important it is, and that it is still possible to keep it, will make them carry themselves well without looking back. In addition, our body is the temple of the Lord and needs not to be defiled. God will help us.

  6. i realy like to hear that, there is actualy someone who sees and reason all this virginity keeping like i do. Thankyou for this, i hope many girls and boys could read it, and take it into account when they think about giving their virginity away to temporal boyfriends and girlfriends.

    I am glad i never give in to sex, because honestly i feel so good about my self, and crazy as i could be, i know no one would come and degrade me in terms of knowing me in bed, it is a very satisfying feeling.
    But the unfortunate part is that; the could be no virgin man of my age these days, because man are so into sex like because they think they are more man when they not virgins, oops not in my world. I would respect a man who can resist sex and just find himself in himself not in sex, but oops again, they are rare.

    So all this would mean; we as virgin women would settle for less than we deserve when we marry, so unfair, not prepared for that yet.
    Respecting your body is the most valueable thing a person could ever done for her/himself.

    People always wonder when they hear that i am 27 years and still a virgin, but i just wonder their wondering; because sex is not everything to some of us, the are other things to focus on more than sex, and sex is special to be done by anyone besides your life partner (when you married).

    Keep it up on keeping your virginity till the right time, place and right person… *team virgins* love and treat your body with respect.

    This article is mouthfull coz it approaches sex as it is. Thankyou once more i got encouragement in reading it.

    1. Hey Inno 🙂

      What you said is definitely true.. Valuing yourself is the best thing anyone can do, even when you feel like you’re going against the current of society or even your own body.

      Stay strong

  7. keeping your virginity for the right person (your husband) will bring everlasting respect and trust.
    so if are one keep it up.

  8. There is a certain feeling of pride built up in u. And u still feel u have not failed GOD. ALL THOSE WHO R SHD NOT GIVE UP TO THE PRESSURE. I WILL RATHER DIE A VIRGIN 4 GOD THAN GIVE IT 2 THE WRONG GUY.

  9. i also think is a pleasure to keep ur virginity…but it is not very easy we just need more of God’s grace.

  10. Thanks for this article I really needed this. The pressure is real out here & its great to know there are still people out there who still appreciate virgins

  11. Thank you so much for this article. I’m 33 and I don’t feel bad anymore at all. I’m so glad that I didn’t lose it yet because the guys hat claim they were into me, had a wife or a girlfriend and lied about it even when I asked. People think something is wrong with me, but I’m perfectly fine and sane! To many women in my family, even my friends, have had babies early, drop out of high school, ended up with the wrong man, never had a career and I just didn’t want that for myself, I abstain from sex for alot of reasons, mainly any type of sex, mainly because I just don’t have an interest in it like that, lol. I don’t want to get pregnant or catch anything. I LOVE being single and choosing to date when I want to. I get the whole judgement of people thinking I’m prudish or weird but I don’t care. Every time I wasn’t with someone, it was for a reason and I THANK GOD! Being a virgin or celibate shouldn’t be looked down upon. I’m so tired of people saying one life live it up or you’re missing life’s moments and their opinions on you not enjoying sex. When its time for it to happen it will happen! There is nothing wrong with waiting for whatever reason. Its nobodies business what I’m doing or not doing! All my friends are married or stuck with some man they cant stand and there is children involved and they want to leave, they don’t even enjoy sex at all. I’m sure there is a beautiful part to it but I have yet to come across that person yet. I know god is writing me a beautiful love story. I want to be with someone who feels something for me, im not looking for marriage, im not picky, just not the right time but I don’t want to be with someone and there is no trust or connection and its just a fling. So until then I will wait!!!!

    1. Thank you so much for reading, and I’m totally inspired by your story. There’s nothing better than waiting for someone who cherishes you and loves you to the core and sharing the deepest, most intimate part of yourself with them.

      We definitely find our beloveds 🙂

      Keep well 🙂

  12. That is more than encouraging to make us feel like not vulnerable as some will think…we very important without sex.

  13. God richly bless you for this powerful message. your message has saved someone today who is thinking of giving it up. stay as the bless of the Lord

  14. You know, I just feel kind of relieved. I was dating a guy whom I loved and he loved me too. He wasn’t a virgin but I an. I was deeply in love with him. He promised to wait till we re married. But after some yrs, he started cheating and that was how my relationship tore apart. I was heartbroken and gradually dying in pains and emotional trauma. I felt like I’s a looser. But then i remembered that I’m a virgin and my joy was restored back to me. Because I am a strong and virtious young girl who resisted premarital sex. I pray that God gives me the strenght to marry my future husband a virgin. My joy will knw no bound. I wanna see my bedsheet stained with blood on my wedding night. I’m sure my husband will love me more for that, alone

    1. I’m so glad that you chose to keep yourself pure and wait for the right person.. That guy only wanted to please himself and didn’t really love you.. You’ll definitely find someone who will love you wholeheartedly 🙂 .. Keep well 🙂

  15. Writing a book on her virginity her. Pride coz I believe so much in sex after marriage need some help with the content of my book

  16. I’m really blessed by ur article, I’ll b 27 in November and still a virgin…. kip up d good work.

    1. Hey Kay 🙂 I think it is important with a man, but more than that, both parties in a relationship should decide to commit and be faithful to each other.

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