Imagine that: a world were people weren’t so controlled by their hormones, where their manhood or womanhood wasn’t defined at all by the amount of sex they have, and a world where countless hearts would be spared from heartbreak caused by cheating.
I think that sex doesn’t have to be the be-all and the end-all of relationships, but because people have become so accustomed to sex defining how good or bad a relationship is, it has become a norm in any relationship.
If you do decide to keep your legs closed and not engage in sex, people think you’re lying about your virginity or they look at you as if you’re crazy for not having sex. The worse is when you can’t get into a relationship because you know that sex will always be a pressure, and if its not you giving it to your partner, some one else will.
I think there are some very good benefits of being a virgin.
Most of my friends gave it up to their boyfriends, only to have their lovers dump them after a couple of weeks or months. My girlfriends felt so used after such break-ups because they felt like they gave their all, only to have it trampled and thrown back at their faces.
So as a virgin, you don’t really feel like absolute crap when your partner leaves you because you didn’t give away a very deep part of yourself. Although you do feel sad after the breakup, it’s generally easier to get over the failed relationship because there was never a deep-level sexual connection.
As a virgin, your ability to rock someone’s world doesn’t come from how you perform in bed, so you don’t go through the stress of being compared to other people, and you don’t compare different partners as well.
As a woman, you don’t feel like death because your man slept with another woman, and you don’t have insecurities of ‘not being woman enough’ when the relationship goes belly-up. As a guy, you don’t have nightmares of you being a weak man who can’t satisfy his woman. No one needs that kind of stress that just eats at your self-esteem.
Most relationships have the tendency of falling apart after people engage in sex. I guess the main reason would be that there’s nothing left of the relationship after a sexual encounter; all that could be done has been done. This applies to relationships outside of one-night stands.
There are the obvious benefits to choosing to remain a virgin, such as no STD’s and pregnancy scares. But more than that, refraining from sex gives you the opportunity to get to know your partner for who they are, and to work on building a relationship that isn’t merely physical. Having an emotional connection with someone, and knowing that you have a companion and a lover to live life with is something that is quite special.
Being a virgin in this day and age is quite difficult because you are literally swimming against the current of the modern times, but it’s a choice at the end of the day.
Virginity also tends to scare off a lot of people that would want to be in a relationship with you, but also in the end, it usually turns out to be a blessing because it eliminates crappy people out of your life.
*image from Salon.