A thought crossed my mind recently while I was chilling out and listening to music.
Imagine that: a world were people weren’t so controlled by their hormones, where their manhood or womanhood wasn’t defined at all by the amount of sex they have and a world where countless hearts would be spared from breakage because people would not be cheating so hectically on each other.
I think that sex doesn’t have to be the be-all and the end-all of relationships, but because people have become so accustomed to sex defining how good or bad a relationship is, it has become a norm in any relationship.
If you do decide to keep your legs closed and not engage in sex, people think you’re lying about your virginity or they look at you as if you’re crazy for not having sex. The worse is when you can’t get into a relationship because you know that sex will always be a pressure, and if its not you giving it to your partner, some one else will.
Most of my friends gave it up to their boyfriends, only to have their lovers dump them after a couple of weeks or months. My girlfriends felt so used after such break-ups because they felt like they gave their all, only to have it trampled and thrown back at their faces.
So as a virgin, you don’t really feel like absolute crap when Mr. Lover leaves you because you know that you did not give away a very deep part of yourself. Although you do feel sad after the break- up, it’s generally easier to get over because you never connected with the guy sexually.
As a virgin, your ability to rock someone’s world doesn’t come from how you perform in bed, so you don’t go through the stress of being compared to other people, and you don’t compare different lovers as well.
As a woman, you don’t feel like death because your man slept with another woman, and you don’t have insecurities of ‘not being woman enough’ when the relationship goes belly-up. As a guy, you don’t have nightmares of you being a weak man who can’t satisfy his woman. No one needs that kind of stress that just eats at your self-esteem.
Most relationships have the tendency of falling apart after people engage in sex. I guess the main reason would be that there’s nothing left of the relationship after a sexual encounter; all that could be done has been done, so now all you hear are crickets making noises in the background of your relationship.
Not including sex in a relationship gives you the opportunity to build something sustainable that’s not tainted with the ‘before-and-after’ admin of having sex.
And there are the obvious benefits, such as no STD’s and pregnancy scares, but more especially for women because we are emotional, I think the emotional benefits of not giving it up are the most significant.
Being a virgin in this day and age is quite difficult because you are literally swimming against the current of the modern times, but it’s a choice at the end of the day.
Virginity also tends to scare off a lot of people that would want to be in a relationship with you, but also in the end, it usually turns out to be a blessing because it eliminates crappy people out of your life.
*pic sourced from papyrus.greenville.edu.