I have come up with a proverb that says: A hug is worth a thousand words.

Hugging is a sign of the level of relationship with  the person that you’re embracing as it is a form of physical intimacy. You can tell a lot about people’s closeness just from the way they hug.

My male friends and I used to argue a lot about this hugging business, because there were some hugs that I gave them that they felt were too impersonal, and there were some hugs that they were happy with because they were more affectionate.

So I started paying attention to the kinds of hugs that I give, and I’ve also started paying attention to the kinds of hugs that I’m receiving from my male friends. My observations have proved that you can tell a lot about where you stand relationally with someone by the type of hug you’re receiving.

When a guy hugs you and he closes his arms around your upper back and he stands at a bit of a distance away from you, it means that he’s willing to be friendly with you even though he doesn’t really know you. He’s not too keen to get you into the friendship zone, but he is willing to keep you in the acquaintance zone until you work your way up the ranks of the different personal zones.

I don’t really like the upper-back hug, but I do understand why one would give this embrace because I tend to do the same when I’m getting used to someone. Don’t expect any real affection from these hugs.

Now you know that you’ve made it past the acquaintance zone when a guy gives you the waist hug. His hands wrapped around your waist and very little distance between the two of you is a very good sign of affection, and it shows that you’ve made it into the friendship zone.

And if this hug lingers for a while longer with ear chitter-chatter in the mix, dude is probably thinking ‘ooohhweee! Flirt time!’. The waist hug is always good because it’s more personal, more affectionate and ultimately says “I like you and I want to know you better”.

The most dreadful hugs ever are those side hugs where only the shoulders touch, and if the hips happen to touch, it’s a miracle. Those are the most impersonal hugs ever, and your heart should sink when you receive them. The person giving this type of embrace is merely being respecting you by acknowledging your presence, and isn’t keen on knowing you or being well acquainted with you.

If you get a high 5 or a ‘hola-heita’ handshake, know that you’re one of the boys and you’re snugly fitted into the friend-zone. If you receive this kind of embrace, just accept your fate and be strong.

So do suss out the kind of hugs you receive, and you’ll be able to tell the level of relationship that you are at with the guy who’s embracing you.

*pic sourced from pinterest

*DailyPost WordPress.


  1. Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive read something like this before. So good to find any person with some unique thoughts on this subject. realy thank you for beginning this up. this web site is something that�s needed on the web, somebody with just a little originality. helpful job for bringing something new to the web!

  2. Great web site. Lots of useful info here. I’m sending it to some buddies ans also sharing in delicious. And of course, thanks for your effort!

  3. No this is something very cool to read. I will definitely share it on my Facebook page, for those brother-man who have ever given me a hi 5 or shoulder hugged me and hugged my best-friend with a waist hug! Damn. Okay, I should understand why-because we don’t know each other but damn, not cool.
    Great post – a true observer you are. Definitely you’ve gained a new follower.

      1. Hehehe. True! They must be.. 😊
        Been readin your stories. South african girl. Am from africa too, Kenya… Glad to meet you-talk to you, more so!😉
        Welcome to the blogging family.

  4. Haha, I have this friend that I thought was the type of person that just loved everybody. I hadn’t seen her in a while and I gave her a bear hug sort of hug. Then, she said “That was a strong hug”. And then I was kind of worried like I misinterpreted her. Then, she quickly added, “I like it”. Haha, I was still kind of worried, but I think that still illustrates she is pretty good at reading people.

    1. Lolz! She definitely interpreted the hug and probably thought, “hmmm! What’s going on here?” But it’s all good; I guess everybody kinda knows what different hugs mean🙂

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