THE BENEFITS OF BEING A VIRGIN

A thought crossed my mind recently while I was chilling out and listening to music. I was wondering what the world would be like if all people were virgins and were programmed to have sex once they found their ‘perfect’ partner and married them. Imagine that: a world were people weren’t so controlled by their hormones, where their manhood or womanhood wasn’t defined at all by the amount of sex they have and a world where countless hearts would be spared from breakage because people would not be cheating so hectically on each other.

I think that sex doesn’t have to be the be-all and the end-all of relationships, but because people have become so accustomed to sex defining how good or bad a relationship is, it has become a norm in any relationship, and if you do decide to keep your legs closed and not engage in sex, first of all, people think you’re lying about your virginity then they look at you as if you’re crazy for not having sex. But the worse is when you can’t get into a relationship because you know that sex will always be a pressure, and if its not you giving it to your partner, some one else will.

But do not despair, because I think there are some very good benefits of being a virgin, and because of these benefits, I think virgins are the sanest people on earth. I’ve had a few incidences where my friends would give it up to their boyfriends, only to have their lovers dump them after a couple of weeks, and if they’re lucky, after a couple of months. My girlfriends felt so used after such break-ups because they felt like they gave their all, only to have it trampled and thrown back at their faces. So being a virgin, you don’t really feel like absolute crap when Mr Lover leaves you because you know that you did not give away a very deep part of yourself. Although you do feel sad at the break- up, it’s generally easier to get over because you never connected with the guy sexually.

As a virgin, your ability to rock someone’s world doesn’t come from how you perform in bed, so you don’t go through the stress of being compared to other people, and you don’t compare different lovers as well. As a girl, you don’t feel like death because your man slept with another girl, and in your head you’re thinking that you were never women enough or interesting enough to keep your man, and as a guy, you don’t have nightmares of you being a weak man who can’t satisfy his woman. No one needs that kind of stress that just eats at your self-esteem.

Most relationships have the tendency of falling apart after people engage in sex. I guess the main reason would be that there’s nothing left of the relationship after a sexual encounter; all that could be done has been done, so now all you hear are crickets making noise in the background of your relationship. Not including sex in a relationship gives you the opportunity to build something sustainable that’s not tainted with the ‘before-and-after’ admin of having sex.

And there are the obvious benefits, such as no STD’s and pregnancy scares, but more especially for girls because we are emotional, I think the emotional benefits of not giving it up are the most significant.

Being a virgin in this day and age is quite difficult because you are literally swimming against the current of the modern times, but it’s a choice at the end of the day. Virginity also tends to scare off a lot of people that would want to be in a relationship with you, but also in the end, it usually turns out to be a blessing because it eliminates crappy people out of your life.

*pic sourced from pinterest

36 thoughts on “THE BENEFITS OF BEING A VIRGIN

  1. you made very valid points. My question to you is,
    1. “which angle where you using to look at the benefits? girl point of view or boys”
    2. “how come girls you want to use the black mail of being used more and as you gave your all when you give your virginity willingly?” Its just a membrane that you are not even sure that by the time to had your first sexual encounter it was still intact. Why don’t just embrace the experience of loosing instead of looking to say because i gave it to you, you are the man of my dreams but you gave it while you were awake and responding. i say to all the ladies that feel used after loosing it to the guy who leave him, “it was not meant to be and life goes on, you were going to die a virgin one you were going to give to the man that u married and might even divorce after so you still after coz you gave your all and he left you or you left him?”

    yet again i commend on the effort made in compiling the peace of work. keep it up.

    • Thanks for the comment. To answer your questions, I was looking at it from a girl’s point of view, and ultimately, ladies are emotional beings and somehow they feel used after giving it up because the relationships that they’re in don’t last, because it seems like the guy got what he wanted and now there’s nothing more that’s left of the relationship, so he tunes out. Feeling used is one of the primary reasons that girls put up defences and decide to love with their heads and no longer with their hearts because it hurts too much to go there. And with regards to marriage, it’s better to marry a guy who’s basically your best friend so that when ‘ish hits the fan, you guys can still talk and relate, other than that, you decide things for yourself and your life, not really based on other people and their responses to you.

    • I think my brother you realy dont see virginity as special as it is; when you say ”its just a membrane one doesn’t know it will be there when they first do sex”,
      I want to say its not about that ”little” thing, loosing that membrane through sex is different when loosing because of other physical activities, which doesn’t involve sex.

      The fact that i will be keeping my self till marriage, is satisfying enough; so whatever happens after that will never be the same as the feeling of giving my virginity to any man am in a relationship with…
      the important thing is how, when, where and with whom is was done…

      Keeping virginity is special, like no one want to sleep with someone who sleeps with anyone.. Some of women value man who values their bodies and treat sex as special as it is, not jus a once thing off, as sex involves more emotions and bond,, so we cant create strong bonds with any man and that is not blackmail… Thanxu for your comment.

  2. I love this article, honestly being a virgin is the best. Virginity is the only precious gift from birth that one can give to his/her partner. You can not buy this gift from any where, it is a God giving gift.

  3. u hv encourage me more by ur words of advise. i pray that God wl be our strenght that we wll not make a mistake. in jesus name. Amen. I lv u all

  4. It seemed like an impossible task to find sane people within this barbaric sex hungry world of so called human beings. But now I’m greatly relieved to discover that there are indeed sane people living on this earth and i’m now hopeful to see a better future in this world. May God bless you.

  5. I really appreciate people like you who create out time telling that genuine truth even when it’s no more recognised. Virginity, as I do tell myself can never be regained when lost no matter the cost and letting young people know how important it is, and that it is still possible to keep it, will make them carry themselves well without looking back. In addition, our body is the temple of the Lord and needs not to be defiled. God will help us.

  6. i realy like to hear that, there is actualy someone who sees and reason all this virginity keeping like i do. Thankyou for this, i hope many girls and boys could read it, and take it into account when they think about giving their virginity away to temporal boyfriends and girlfriends.

    I am glad i never give in to sex, because honestly i feel so good about my self, and crazy as i could be, i know no one would come and degrade me in terms of knowing me in bed, it is a very satisfying feeling.
    But the unfortunate part is that; the could be no virgin man of my age these days, because man are so into sex like because they think they are more man when they not virgins, oops not in my world. I would respect a man who can resist sex and just find himself in himself not in sex, but oops again, they are rare.

    So all this would mean; we as virgin women would settle for less than we deserve when we marry, so unfair, not prepared for that yet.
    Respecting your body is the most valueable thing a person could ever done for her/himself.

    People always wonder when they hear that i am 27 years and still a virgin, but i just wonder their wondering; because sex is not everything to some of us, the are other things to focus on more than sex, and sex is special to be done by anyone besides your life partner (when you married).

    Keep it up on keeping your virginity till the right time, place and right person… *team virgins* love and treat your body with respect.

    This article is mouthfull coz it approaches sex as it is. Thankyou once more i got encouragement in reading it.

    • Hey Inno :)

      What you said is definitely true.. Valuing yourself is the best thing anyone can do, even when you feel like you’re going against the current of society or even your own body.

      Stay strong :)

  7. keeping your virginity for the right person (your husband) will bring everlasting respect and trust.
    so if are one keep it up.

  8. There is a certain feeling of pride built up in u. And u still feel u have not failed GOD. ALL THOSE WHO R SHD NOT GIVE UP TO THE PRESSURE. I WILL RATHER DIE A VIRGIN 4 GOD THAN GIVE IT 2 THE WRONG GUY.

  9. Thanks for this article I really needed this. The pressure is real out here & its great to know there are still people out there who still appreciate virgins

  10. Thank you so much for this article. I’m 33 and I don’t feel bad anymore at all. I’m so glad that I didn’t lose it yet because the guys hat claim they were into me, had a wife or a girlfriend and lied about it even when I asked. People think something is wrong with me, but I’m perfectly fine and sane! To many women in my family, even my friends, have had babies early, drop out of high school, ended up with the wrong man, never had a career and I just didn’t want that for myself, I abstain from sex for alot of reasons, mainly any type of sex, mainly because I just don’t have an interest in it like that, lol. I don’t want to get pregnant or catch anything. I LOVE being single and choosing to date when I want to. I get the whole judgement of people thinking I’m prudish or weird but I don’t care. Every time I wasn’t with someone, it was for a reason and I THANK GOD! Being a virgin or celibate shouldn’t be looked down upon. I’m so tired of people saying one life live it up or you’re missing life’s moments and their opinions on you not enjoying sex. When its time for it to happen it will happen! There is nothing wrong with waiting for whatever reason. Its nobodies business what I’m doing or not doing! All my friends are married or stuck with some man they cant stand and there is children involved and they want to leave, they don’t even enjoy sex at all. I’m sure there is a beautiful part to it but I have yet to come across that person yet. I know god is writing me a beautiful love story. I want to be with someone who feels something for me, im not looking for marriage, im not picky, just not the right time but I don’t want to be with someone and there is no trust or connection and its just a fling. So until then I will wait!!!!

    • Thank you so much for reading, and I’m totally inspired by your story. There’s nothing better than waiting for someone who cherishes you and loves you to the core and sharing the deepest, most intimate part of yourself with them.

      We definitely find our beloveds :)

      Keep well :)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s